


you, it's always going to be you.

by lostmemoria



Series: tumblr fics [24]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Breakups, Established Relationship, F/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4803980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostmemoria/pseuds/lostmemoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She expects him to smile back, to step forward and wrap his arms around her waist and apologize, but he does neither. “Lydia, we need to talk,” he says instead, his voice tense as he clenches his jaw.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you, it's always going to be you.

**Author's Note:**

> [**hellhoundbanshee**](http://hellhoundbanshee.tumblr.com) asked: marrish + “Don’t listen to them. Don’t you EVER listen to them.”

Lydia had just taken out the alfredo pasta bake, one of Jordan’s absolute favorite dishes made by her from the oven when the doorbell rings, making a smile cross her lips as she places the pan down on the counter. She takes a quick glimpse at the time and it’s exactly eight, meaning he’s right on time for dinner  _for once._ She rushes to the door then, but not before she takes a glance at herself in the floor length mirror in the hallway, smoothing out the purple dress she’s wearing that she knows he just loves on her. Her hair is done in perfect curls, half of it done in an updo and the other half cascading down her shoulders.

It’s their three month anniversary and she wants everything to be perfect. She’s been planning this night for weeks, coordinating it just right so it’s the weekend her mother is out of town to visit a sick relative. She wanted to make it extra special because Jordan’s always doing something special for her, whether it be surprising her with flowers or a date night out in the preserve in his car under a starry night, or just taking time to be there for her when she needs him. And she wants to return the favor, do something special for him too.

When she opens the door she finds him not in normal civilian clothes, but still in his uniform. It brings a questioning look on her face but she figures that he just got off from his shift and didn’t want to keep her waiting. She smiles, “you’re lucky I love you in your uniform just as much as your regular clothes, otherwise this would be completely unacceptable deputy.

She expects him to smile back, to step forward and wrap his arms around her waist and apologize, but he does neither. “Lydia, we need to talk,” he says instead, his voice tense as he clenches his jaw.

She doesn’t catch the hint, or maybe she doesn’t want to, because she takes his hand and tries to drag him inside while flashing him a flirty smile. “We have the _whole night_  to just talk, Jordan.”

But he doesn’t budge. “Lydia, we really need to talk,” he repeats again, swallowing hard. “I…I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

The smile fades from her lips and she drops his hand, looking at him confused. But deep down, she knows. “What are you talking about?”

“This… _Us._  I thought we would be able to do it, to ignore what everyone else is saying about us, to just be happy with each other. But how am I supposed to be happy knowing that people are judging you, saying things about you for being with me? I…can’t. I can’t ignore it and be that selfish. I can’t do that to you.” He hasn’t dropped his gaze from her yet, and just from that she knows everything he’s saying is the honest truth.

And for some reason, she laughs. It’s hollow and depressing as it fills the void between them and she wants to cry. But she holds it in. She looks at him with a stare that could kill, “so that’s it then, huh? You’re just going to back out? You’re just going to be a fucking coward?” The words leave her lips too fast, too nasty, and she can feel her lower lip start to quiver.

He looks at her and tries to step forward, “Lyds—”

“Don’t.” She steps back, holds her hand up silently telling him to stop. “ _Don’t call me that._ ”

He steps back as immediately as she holds her palm up, because of course he does. He’ll always respect her wishes even when he’s breaking up with her. “Lydia,” he speaks again, softly, calmly, “you deserve so much better…”

Now, that makes her mad. Because who is he to decide what’s better for her or not? What if to her, he is  _better_. “Is that what they’re saying to you? That I deserve better? What else are they saying? That you’re a creep for liking me?” Her voice is sharp like the cutting edge of a knife, “Don’t listen to them. Don’t you EVER listen to them. They don’t know you. They don’t know  _u-us._ ” The last word slips out of her broken, because she realizes that there is no more ‘us’. It’s just her.  

“Lydia…I’m sorry, I’m—” He reaches out to touch her, to comfort her, but she jerks away.

“I thought you were different, I thought you weren’t like the others. But you’re all just the same,” she musters out angrily in between sobs, “I hate you. I hate you  _so much._ ” Again, the words leave her too quickly, too painfully, but this time they’re all lies. She doesn’t hate him, she knows that. She loves him too much. She loves him with everything she has and more, but she thinks maybe saying it out loud like that will make it easier for her to forget.

It doesn’t.

She slams the door closed before she can hear him again, because she can’t face him anymore, not like this, not when she’s at her most vulnerable with tears streaming down her cheeks and the lump in her throat hurting too much. He’s already seen her like this so many times, but now he’s lost the privilege to.

She loses her balance and sinks down to her knees against the cold hard floor, back pressed up against the closed door and she can’t help but think about all the times Jordan held her in his strong safe arms, all the times he’s whispered sweet nothings to her, all the times he’s proved over and over again that he’s the  _one._

And that thought makes her cry for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://lydiasdeputy.tumblr.com)


End file.
